Sharing YOUR grief

I receive many messages from parents through my Comfort Zone, and each one reminds me that I’m not alone. That somewhere out there are parents like me, wondering how to get through another day, or another Christmas or just needing an outlet to cry ‘why?’

I have decided to share these messages with my readers because we all need to hear them. We need to know that life is precious, that grief is always there – sometimes it drives us, other times it breaks us… I have changed names to protect identities.

If you’d like to share your thoughts about grief please message me through the Comfort Zone – I read every message and I do try to reply to everyone, but often people don’t need a reply, they just want to share their pain. Thank you so much.

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My husband and I lost our 5-year-old daughter, our only child, October 7 when she stopped breathing during a nap. We are still reeling and just getting over the shock and crying every day. I don’t know what to do now that I am not a mommy anymore. What to do with her toys and Christmas dress. I am happy to find some comfort and support from other parents that have gone through this. Hugs to you and I’m sorry for your loss too. FROM L.

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It has been three years since A’s death. I thought it would get easier but it is still so hard. I miss him so much! I am angry but not at anyone, but if you get in my way you may feel my pain. It is not about you or me, it just hurts so much. I wish I could explain it but I can’t.  FROM A.

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For heaven’s sake how are you coping? I would spend a day feeling ok only to break down the next. When the pain is so much that you want to physically run away! Like when your heart is almost exploding out of your mouth. How are you coping? How real are you supposed to be in front of the living siblings of a lost child? I get fear them seeing me when the grief has HIT me hard. I feel protective around their young, innocent souls (9 and 6). They know Mummy and Daddy cry sometimes, and I have asked them to be telling me when they feel weary and down. We mourn together. But I can’t bring myself to them seeing me when I AM HURTING MOST. It is so scary. I lost my mum three years ago, my beloved mum. But I never felt what am feeling at the moment. Only beautiful moments are left of me by now. Can anyone tell me this grief for my daughter will eventually get better? Will it get worse? The fact that she was my confidant breaks me… Don’t even know how I ended writing all this. Perhaps someone may relate or even give me hope. God help me. FROM F

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Our amazing son passed away July 24th this year. He just loved Christmas. He went to bed Sat night & didn’t wake up. We have put up our tree & decorations all feeling guilty. We have started two new traditions: decorate the tree with very bright decorations because of his personality; spending a little longer in bed looking at photos when he was here, when he and his brother were younger. FROM W

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Facing my first everything since my 18-year-old died in August – all these really big traditions at his school, where I teach and where his younger sister is a student, his birthday, Christmas. Feeling very alone and very sad today…. FROM N

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This will be the 1st Christmas without our oldest of 3 sons. His birthday coming up Nov. 30. He passed in expectantly right after spending time together Memorial Day weekend. From pneumonia and heart complications. No warning. It is hard to go to work, although it helps. He has a daughter 9 yrs old. I will have her tomorrow. It is getting hard to go on. Our family all live in the same city, we do all birthdays, holidays together, Christmas a family tree with ornaments from the 3 boys, 3 grandkids including photo ornaments. Always the happiest time of year! We get my mom from another city, she is 85. I don’t know how I can do it this year! I am supposed to be the strong person, but not this time. I was able to move on as hard as it was from others who passed. I cannot move on from my son. I know I have 2 sons who I love, my 3 grandkids, but it is still too hurtful. Everyday and night. Don’t let everyone know, they are going through it too. Ugggghhhh, just want to crawl in a hole! FROM C

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We just lost our 28-year-old daughter in December on her son’s 8th birthday in a car accident. She also had a 4-year-old daughter. She had 2 sisters, one just turned 23 and the other is 31. We are all quite devastated and it still does not seem real. We found a bucket list she wrote at 12 and her sisters and I are fulfilling it. We are having a 5k this weekend with proceeds going to Citizens Against Domestic Violence. The last line in her journal was ‘Keep praying. Good things are coming.’ So our faith gets us through. I see so much in your blog of the grief my family experiences. I just started my blog, my daughter would be shocked I think but I do like getting my feelings out. Glad I found your blog. FROM C

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My Gran just died of cancer, I feel lost. Also like I can’t trust myself, everyday for the past 5 weeks I’ve thought something would kill me. FROM A

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