Just a bunch of grapes

I’ve realised I’ve started buying grapes again, and not just buying them… eating them too!

Abi loved grapes. She’d come in from school and devour a bunch easily while watching TV.

Ever since she died, I’ve not been able to even look at grapes. I bought some once about a year ago, just to see if I could have them again. But I felt like gagging when I tried to eat one. The image of her happily munching away on them was all too recent. So I’ve avoided buying grapes… until the last few weeks.

It wasn’t a conscious decision, which is interesting. I just seem to be okay with it now.

It’s just fruit! Grief is funny like that.

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10 thoughts on “Just a bunch of grapes

  1. Grief really can do funny things with your head. It’s not surprising you’ve avoided grapes considering the link to Abi – in that context, they’re not ‘just’ fruit. Xx

  2. I saw these on Instagram and wondered what they were all about. Now they make perfect sense. It’s understandable you would feel like that about something which was so synonymous with Abi. Coming to terms with grapes is just another small step on your road to recovery. x

    1. Accidently posted it on instagram but thanks Sarah. There’s lots of things like this but grapes were quite significant last year. I think of her differently now when I eat them. Little things x

  3. I’ve heard other people carrying grief say similar things. I guess it shows that as time passes, things change – I am sure they never get easier, just different. Another step x

  4. I can’t make mashed potatoes and corn together. I had a breakdown that would top all breakdowns over it recently. I wrote a blog about it and didn’t post it because I thought I would seem crazy. I may post it now after seeing I am grieving normally. Prayers for you

  5. Yes, please do share your post! It’s ones like these that make us all feel that bit less crazy. There are obvious things about grief, but it’s the unobvious things which are often the hardest to bear. I was the same about macaroni cheese, Abi’s favourite. We have started to eat it again, and think of her when we do… but it hurts

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